Watching A Miracle Unfold: October 2008

One year ago you burst into our lives, quickly and with very little warning. There are days when the events of a year ago feel like a century ago and then there are days when everything still feels so fresh.

I am simply amazed at how far you've come. A year ago you could barely breathe on your own and eating was out of the question. Today, we are assured that your lungs and healthy and strong because you spend your days, screaming, laughing, talking and playing. You had to learn to eat and breathe at the same time and now I sometimes have to beg you to slow down before you choke yourself.

I love the way you curl your toes and squeeze my fingers when you eat.

I love the way you get jump-out-of-your skin excited whenever you see me first thing in the morning.

I love how happy you are when you first wake up. I can't tell you how happy it makes me to listen to you laugh and giggle and chatter before you're even out of bed.

I love that you express love for your Daddy in a very different way than you express your love for me. You'll be in the middle of climbing all over me and Daddy will take you and you'll stop and just snuggle into his chest -safe, secure, content. It's such a reminder for me that I can rest safe and secure in God's arms too.

I love that your very existence has forced me to consider and do things that I've always wanted to do but never did.

I love that I get to see you eat cake today! Who doesn't love some cake?? :)

I love YOU...to the moon and back

Mommy

Disclaimer: Brian has requested I not exclude any potentially embarrassing details so don't feel sorry for him. :) I think he's proud of how things unfolded.

On Sunday evening, October 21, 2007 I started having some minor back pain. I had a fall earlier that day but baby girl was still moving around in the womb and I had NO signs of any of us being in physical distress. My doctor told me to call him immediately if I had even a hint of bleeding, cramping or contractions so I was keeping an eye out for that. The pain was more of a dull ache in my lower back and it got a tiny bit worse by the next day but it felt no different from your regular old back pain caused by pregnancy. I went to work just the same and just did my best to stay of my feet and rest. Tuesday morning the pain was still there and it got a little worse so I took some Tylenol and was able to function at work with a pillow behind my back. The same thing happened on Wednesday with the pain increasing a bit more. I remember rushing to the hospital at 13 weeks because I was having stomach pain that hurt so much more than that. Turns out that was only gas. :laugh:

I had my regular doctor’s appt scheduled for the next day and B had taken the day off to go with me because I was supposed to do my gestational diabetes test and it can cause lethargy and drowsiness. The nature of his job makes it very difficult for him to just take a few hours off because it's hard to tell when he will get a break. The sole reason he was with me that day was because I had that test and the doctor's office was a good 45 minutes away from where we lived and he was concerned about me falling asleep after drinking that stuff.

The pain worsened during the night on Wednesday and made sleeping very difficult. I started to consider the possibility of a Urinary Tract Infection, which is common in pregnancy and can cause severe back pain as well. In the meantime, there were no contractions or cramping and I could still feel Sydney moving around but with less frequency. I called my doc at 2 a.m. and told him to expect to see me as soon as he opened his doors because I would need some pain medicine and antibiotics because I was sure I had a UTI. We went through all the other labor symptoms and I had NONE. I actually fell asleep at about 4 a.m. and woke up at 7 a.m. feeling like someone was ripping my back out. Imagine someone pulling your fingernails out by the root…slowly and then multiply that feeling by 100. It was worse than that. I literally though I was at death’s door. My poor husband was so flushed and helpless at this point so we got dressed and raced to my doctor’s office. We were fully prepared for the police to chase us there for speeding because we had no intention of stopping for anyone.

We got there and the pain was coming but it wasn’t constant anymore. They took a urine sample and gave me my glucose drink and went to get me some pain medicine and a small dose of antibiotics if it did show that I had a UTI. 5 minutes after I did the urine test, the nurse came to get me looking all flushed and not really making eye contact. I see them moving lots of people around and she tells me my doc will see me right away and I should get undressed and he would be in to examine me in a minute. Less than 30 seconds later he comes flying in without knocking and before I was even covered up. He’s never done that before. He tells me to lie down and his voice is steady and calm but he’s not his usual jolly self. He slaps the gel on and quickly does an ultrasound. I hear him say, “There’s the heartbeat” followed by an obvious sigh of relief.

He examines me and he’s still verrrry quiet. Then he gets up, holds my hand and says, “Sweetie, you’re 7 cm dilated. I don’t even want you to sit up right now. We’re calling an ambulance and I going with you to the hospital NOW.”

This is where I’m certain time stopped for a full minute. I remember willing myself to wake up and it just wasn’t happening. Then the tears came. HARD. B’s at my side, holding my hand and he’s crying too and we’re just kinda stunned and speechless. If I didn’t have my GD test that morning, B wouldn’t even have been there. :weep:

Literally 4 minutes later, I hear the ambulance outside and 4 paramedics race in with a stretcher. I now know that my doc had his office call the ambulance before he even examined me, based on my urine test. A part of me is still in denial that they’re there for me but they grab me from the bed I was on and put me on the stretcher before I could even think anything else. One of them is talking to B to get information on what was going on, another is taking my blood pressure, another is inserting an IV and the last one is trying to get info from my doc about where to take me. I hear him say, “Turn on your sirens and DO NOT take her to the hospital that’s closest. We’re dealing with a very early baby and she needs to get to the hospital that can best care for this child. LET'S DO THIS QUICKLY.”

My doc grabs his keys and tells them he’s getting a head start and will meet them there and he’s calling the hospital to get them ready for me. B wasn’t allowed to ride in the back of the ambulance with me but they allowed him to go in front. The paramedic/EMS who was back there with me was an angel. He kept talking softly to me and every time the pain would get intense, he would help me calm down and breathe through them. Those guys are heroes. I spent the ride to the hospital texting my friends and they all kept responding to me. It was months later that I considered how crazy I must have looked, laying on a stretcher, sending texts.

As fast as we were going, it was the longest ride of my entire life. When we get to hospital, we race to the Maternity Wing and my doctor is there yelling, “WHAT THE HELL TOOK YOU SO LONG??” I don’t know how he left 2 minutes before us and got there and had time to pace the halls when we were the ones with the siren. He tells them where to take me and B goes to give my information to the people at registration. All this time, I’m in mind numbing pain but willing myself to remain calm. We get to the delivery room and 5 Neonatal Nurses and Doctors are already there just waiting for the baby and two delivery nurses are there waiting for me. They get me on the bed and my doctor checks me again and says he see’s the baby’s head. *screams* I start screaming for them to get my husband and panic set in. One of the neonatal doctors came and held my hand and she said, “I bet you’re scared honey but I know you can do this. We’re going to take good care of your baby.” Then for some reason she said, “God is going to take care of you and her. He chose you to be her mother because you have the strength to handle this.”

By this time, B is back in the room and my doc says we need to start pushing and get the baby out soon. They strap on a heart rate monitor and I hear Sydney’s heart beating steady and strong. Music to my ears. Then I felt a short jab of back pain (contraction) but I still had no tummy contractions at this point. I push and I see the nurses moving the monitor down as she comes down to keep checking her heart rate. I push a second time, still not sure if I could even do it. Third time I push and then there’s no more sound on the heart rate monitor. My doc and the nurses look stricken and I hear one of them whisper, “We lost it.” Then another one says, “Here it is” and she says, “No, that’s mom” *terror* My doctor is all fired up now and he starts telling me to make the next push count and he was prepared to do the episiotomy to get her out with the next one. B’s holding my hand and being the most awesome husband evah and I hear him quietly praying too. I push hard and just before we hit the count of ten she comes flying out into my doctor’s arms and she let out a little whimper. Doc says, “Its’ a girl!” and I hear the one of the Neonatal doctors say, “That’s awesome for a baby so young! She’s using her lungs already.” She was born at 11:30 a.m. - exactly one hour after I was told I was in labour. My doc hands her over and they continue working on me.

At this point, I notice B has his head on my pillow and he’s looking a bit flushed. He starts to walk away and the nurse says, “Dad look at your daughter!” He takes one look at her and I only hear my doctor yell, “Catch Him!!” Yes folks, my husband fainted. How cliché! His baby girl brought him to his knees. I hear him mumble, “I’m ok” and he attempts to get up and my doctors says, “You are not ok!! SIT DOWN! HEAD BETWEEN YOUR KNEES!!” *tears* So there I am, on a hospital bed, having all kinds of people violate me, my baby is surrounded by so many people I can’t even see her and my husband is somewhere on the floor. It’s funny now. They get him up and give him a chair and a wet rag for his poor head and the docs hand my daughter to me. Those of you who know B well, know that he's sooo not a fainter.

Gah! I wish I could describe how I felt the first time I saw her but there really are no words. There’s nothing that could explain how much I love her. Nothing. It was a crazy day but one I’ll never forget and we count ourselves blessed that despite the trauma, she made it out kicking and whimpering.

There are times I look back and the little what-ifs haunt me. Then I think about all the events surrounding her birth and I KNOW God planned it this way. One year later and I'm still in awe.

God is good.

The End.