Sunday, January 18, 2009
Friday, January 16, 2009
There's a fine line that separates what we feel is our responsibility to let Sydney know how blessed she is, how God has used her life to work an awesome miracle and letting the circumstances surrounding her prematurity be the thing that defines her. There are days when I'm just so tired of keeping up with doctor's appointments and the all encompassing nature of caring for her and I start to think how hard my life is. Then I walk into the rehab center and see a 9 year old who cannot communicate and can only walk with the help of an adult supporting her. She cannot even use a cane. This is not to say that the fact that someone's situation seems worse than mine makes my life easier but really, we are outrageously blessed. She is a living testimony of God's goodness, not a victim of her circumstances.
I think back to the long dark days of severe reflux and non-stop gagging and puke and I cannot believe that we're finally seeing the light at the end of that tunnel. Back then I thought I was destined to always be covered in puke and yet things were getting better every day, right before our very eyes. Isn't that how life is? When you're enduring your own personal hell, it seems impossible that it will ever be better and then one day...redemption, resurrection, healing, joy.
Up until last week, Sydney could not even eat a whole pea without gagging and sometimes puking and we still had to mash everything she eats. She eats Gerber Puffs but Cheerios were too hard for her and I admit, it was the most frustrating thing I was dealing with and sometimes I felt so overwhelmed. I would get frustrated, she would get frustrated and the cycle would go on. Then one day, the still, quiet voice of the Lord told me to just chill, relax, let it go - He's in control. So, whenever she gagged I would remain really calm, hold her hand, look her in the eyes and gently tell her it's ok and just talked her through it until she was distracted enough to swallow. Sometimes I would blow in her face or give her a kiss but never freak out as I was prone to do. The most amazing thing has happened...my child no longer gags and she now stuffs Cheerios down her throat by the handful. I could cry right.now. just thinking about it. I stopped trying to fix it myself and God took over because I was no longer at the wheel. After months of frustration, the solution all along was to let go and let God.
No matter what you're going through never stop believing that it can get better and know sometimes all you need to do is chill...relax...let it go.
"I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble but take heart! I have overcome the world." - John 16:33
Friday, January 9, 2009
Thursday, January 8, 2009
My baby is becoming an independent toddler. :cry: I don't know what happened but it seems like overnight she's just become this big girl who knows how to do stuff. A week ago she was pulling up to stand but most times she was pulling up to get to me and was therefore holding on to me. In the past few days she's pulling/climbing up on everything.
In terms of her physical development, her balance was the biggest concern that everyone had and even after she mastered sitting, it took a while before she would not topple over at the slightest breeze. Now she's moving/sitting/playing/crawling with ease.
Just this week alone she has done the following:
- Pull up to stand and let go. Today she took one step before she fell. She was so stinking proud of herself too!
- Actively play peek-a-boo. I have tried to get video of it but she's on to me and won't do it if she sees the camera. I promise you that it is the cutest thing ever! She covers one eye with one hand and then lowers her head to avoid eye contact. Then she pulls the hand away with great flair and laughs herself silly.
- Says NaNaNaNa (NoNoNoNo) when she's unhappy. I was downstairs one evening and B came down for a minute and put her in the pack and play. I went back up right before he did and she was in there whining NaNaNa. I got her out and she planted the biggest kiss on me as if to say, "Oh! Thank You!" How sweet is that??
- Claps and says "DaDaDa!" when she hears the garage door open every evening. She knows that sound means Daddy's home
I've been forgetting to mention that her very first tooth popped through on Christmas Day after months of endless teething. She loves feeling it and don't ever make the mistake of sticking your hand in her mouth.
We're a few weeks away from her being 1 year adjusted and I am nothing short of amazed at how far she's come.
"You will not have to fight this battle. Take up your positions; stand firm and see the deliverance the LORD will give you." 2 Chronicles 20:17
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
For a person that constantly mentions how "old" she is, my mother did a great job of keeping up with Little Miss Busybody the past few weeks. Sydney quickly came to understand that she could get away with murder with her and given the chance, the two of them would have played non stop all day. All good things must come to an end and Nana left yesterday.
I took about 10 pictures but when you have child that has figured out that there is no fun in keeping still, you end up with blurry pics.